Man of God, LOVE!
Difficult Marriages Can Work the Character of Jesus into us, if we receive, by faith, the love of God in the midst of them!
This article is written to husbands, I’ll let the women preach to the women. For all you guys out there, Man Up, and read this…
You sure did not know that Abraham Lincoln lived in misery till his death. The cause? His marriage.
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The great tragedy of Abraham Lincoln’s life also was his marriage. Not his assassination, mind you, but his marriage. When Booth fired, Lincoln never realized he had been shot; but he reaped almost daily, for twenty-three years, what Herndon, his law partner, described as the bitter harvest of conjugal infelicity. Conjugal infelicity? That is putting it mildly. For almost a quarter of a century, Mrs. Lincoln nagged and harassed the life out of him.
She was always complaining, always criticizing her husband; nothing about him was ever right. He was stoop-shouldered, he walked awkwardly and lifted his feet straight up and down like an Indian. She complained that there was no spring in his step, no grace to his movement; and she mimicked his gait and nagged at him to walk with his toes pointed down, as she had been taught at Madame Mentelle’s boarding school in Lexington.
She didn’t like the way his huge ears stood out at right angles from his head. She even told him that his nose wasn’t straight, that his lower lip stuck out, and he looked consumptive, that his feet and hands were too large, his head too small.
Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd Lincoln were opposites in every way: in training, in background, in temperament, in tastes, in mental outlook. They irritated each other constantly.
“Mrs. Lincoln’s loud, shrill voice, wrote the late Senator Albert J. Beveridge, the most distinguished Lincoln authority of this generation – “Mrs. Lincoln’s loud, shrill voice could be heard across the street, and her incessant outbursts of wrath were audible to all who lived near the house. Frequently her anger was displayed by other means than words, and accounts of her violence are numerous and unimpeachable.”
To illustrate: Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln, shortly after their marriage, lived with Mrs. Jacob Early – a doctor’s widow in Springfield who was forced to take in boarders. One morning Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln were having breakfast when Lincoln did something that aroused the fiery temper of his wife. What, no one remembers now. But Mrs. Lincoln, in a rage, dashed a cup of hot coffee into her husband’s face. And she did it in front of the other boarders. Saying nothing, Lincoln sat there in humiliation and silence while Mrs. Early came with a wet towel and wiped off his face and clothes.
Mrs. Lincoln’s jealousy was so foolish, so fierce, and so incredible, that merely to read about some of the pathetic and disgraceful scenes she created in public – merely reading about them seventy-five years later makes one gasp with astonishment. She finally went insane; and perhaps the most charitable thing one can say about her is that her disposition was probably always affected by incipient insanity.
Did all this nagging and scolding and raging change Lincoln? In one way, yes. It certainly changed his attitude towards her. It made him regret his unfortunate marriage, and it made him avoid her presence as much as possible.
Springfield had eleven attorneys, and they couldn’t all make a living there; so they used to ride horseback from one county seat to another, following Judge David Davis while he was holding court in various places. In that way, they managed to pick up business from all the county seat towns throughout the Eighth Judicial District.
The other attorneys always managed to get back to Springfield each Saturday and spend the week-end with their families. But Lincoln didn’t. He dreaded to go home: and for three months in the spring, and again for three months in the autumn, he remained out on the circuit and never went near Springfield.
He kept this up year after year. Living conditions in the country hotels were often wretched; but, wretched as they were, he preferred them to his own home and Mrs. Lincoln’s constant nagging and wild outbursts of temper.
— Dale Carnegie, How to Make Friends and Influence People.
The Reading Nation
Now this is the positive side: How was it that Lincoln, when president, could work so effectively with the rampant egos who filled his administration? “The long years of dealing with his tempestuous wife helped prepare Lincoln for handling the difficult people he encountered as president.” In other words, a whole nation benefited from his embracing the pain.
My heavy revvy from this story: Somehow, Lincoln endured the pain, and allowed it to make him a better man. I too, can walk in love towards my wife, even when we do not agree, for on her worst day, she is not as bad as President Lincoln’s wife. Since I have given my whole life to Jesus, I allow him to use everything in my day, to perfect the character of Christ in me. Perhaps, in the most difficult moments in marriage, He could be working some of the deeper fruits of the spirit in me, things like longsuffering, patience, self-control.
So I deliberately grabbed ahold of the love verses, and make these my battle cry, because faith works by love, and I am not going to let anyone, even my wife, shut down what I am believing God for, therefore I will walk in love, no matter how difficult it is daily….Perhaps, in light of the greatness of the call, God has allowed even my wife, to become His perfect instrument of surgery in my life, to work the character of Jesus into me. Delivering me from my pride, selfishness, self righteousness, and brutal ways…I have a call, and I have a plan..but making me like Jesus, is on His ‘To Do’ list, and I may not like the process, but I either take all of Him, or live a hypocritical, compromised life…
Ro 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Think it through man of God. Marriage is a covenant taken before God. Even if your wife is living far beneath her covenant rights and privileges, you are married. Unless there has been adultery, there are no grounds for divorce, and even then, I believe that God can restore a marriage. So, the only way out is death. Since you are not a murderer, nor adulterer, there is only one way through a difficult marriage, that is to embrace the cross of Jesus Christ, and to walk in love.
There is no other way. Unless the Lord take me or her to heaven, I’m married, for life, til death do we part…and I will love her, no matter what she does or does not do!
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
So, I want to be more like Jesus, and learn to love well:
This will take a walk or two to the cross – dying to self, sacrificing my will, for His, and living, and loving, for Jesus sake as part of my worship to Him…
I am head of my house, my ministry, and I set the atmosphere here, and that atmosphere must be heavenly, no matter how I feel. I must love my wife and children, period, making my home a place of refuge from the storms of life….
Proverbs 14:1 (NIV)
14 The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
Proverbs 19:13 (NIV)
13 A foolish child is a father’s ruin,
and a quarrelsome wife is like
the constant dripping of a leaky roof.
Pr 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Pr 25:24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
Looks like these verses describe Abraham Lincolns wife, in fact there have been articles written claiming she was into the occult, and was clinically insane by today’s standards. (dementia)
I don’t know what particular hell your wife might be putting you through at this moment, but there is a straight and narrow way through her mess. It is called the way of the Master, the way of the cross, the love walk….
Love never Fails, Love is stronger than death!
I read, and pray these verses every day, because I need to walk in His love each day, not mine. Life is hard, but God is good. I have learned that I can receive these verses, by faith, and lay hold on them, and the Holy Spirit gives me grace, strength, to actually do, and live what they say.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (AMP)
4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
6 It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]
1Co 15:26 The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.
1Co 15:54 So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.
1Co 15:55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
There you have it, God is love, and Jesus rose from the dead, and He is God. Love is stronger than death!
4 Love endures long and is patient and kind;
While you are enduring your present circumstances, know that God Himself gives you strength and grace to endure, and while you are enduring, to be kind to all those around you.
love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy,
When someone else has nicer things that you have, or appears to be endued with better looks, family, position, or material things in this life, God’s love, shed abroad in our hearts by the mighty Holy Spirit Himself, does not get envious, ever, and does not submit to the tyranny of unfulfilled expectations, jealousy.
is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
Love is not proud, but is teachable, and will glorify God in the good and the bad, giving testimony of Jesus glory, for His glory, where appropriate, but never with a motive to boast, be vainglorious, or in a haughty or arrogant way. We can dress well, with nice things from the Lord, without having to strut or impress others, simply, gratefully, because God gave it to us.
5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.
This is a verse I teach my children. We are to be bold in righteousness, confident in God and His gift in us, grateful for our ongoing accomplishments as we grow in grace, faith, strength and wisdom, but we are never to think more of ourselves, rather, to be great, we must think of ourselves, less. When tempted to butt in line, be pushy, short, and blunt with people, we remember that Jesus is in our hearts, and He in us, is not rude. He is holy, and will not act foolishly or unbecomingly, neither do we. ‘Love is not rude’, handles a whole lot of coarse behaviors…
Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way,
We are not selfish, insisting on our own way, rather we give place to others, yet bold in walking God’s way! We stand up for truth and His rights, not our own!
for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
Our very motive of heart, must be God seeking, seeking Him first in our every decision, not self seeking. Always building the kingdom of God, not our own empire. When people push our buttons, or things are not appearing to go our way, we don’t act touchy, we don’t worry or fret, but deliberately take thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ, refusing to fret, whine or complain.
When people do us wrong, we are quick to forgive, and forget. We do not hold grudges, nor give people the silent treatment, stonewalling them out of our lives. We pay no attention to the wrongs they do to us, but deliberately guard our hearts and thought lives to think on what whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, that we pursue and walk in peace towards all men.
6 It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
As we hear the Media broadcasting filth, injustice, and unrighteousness, we never rejoice in this, never laughing at an off color joke. We rejoice, when right and truth prevail. I find this especially true of the political arena, so much railing, reviling, gossip, innuendos, supposed intrigue. Sure, I hate some of the decisions coming out of Washington, not because of the people that made them, but because they are contrary to the Word of God! So, I cry, unto God most High, to bring change, true change, to the heart of America. This is love, intercession, and gets results from heaven. A bad mouthed, cynical, bitter person, constantly complaining individual, does not even get heard by God. I listen to the the audio Bible all night, every night, letting the Word of God cleanse and wash me from the filth of the day. I will not allow my mind to become a garbage dump for the trash talk of the day!
When horrible things happen, even when God Himself executes judgments on wicked people on our behalf, we should fear God, and be warned, but seek love, mercy, forgiveness, and restoration for the offenders, not death and destruction.
7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes,
We are strong! We can put up with anything that comes at us, anything and everything!
is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
When evil reports are told to us, even when factual, about other people, we use our faith, to believe the opposite of them. To believe the best of them, and for them, hoping, trusting God, and using our authority in the earth, to do all we can to make it easier for folks to do right. If they still have breath in their body, we never give up hoping and believing, without weakening. I deliberately use my faith to believe the opposite when I see someone, especially a government official, doing wrong. I bind and forbid, in prayer, their wickedness, and pray God have mercy upon them, and reveal to them the error of their ways. Currently, this is how we must pray for our President with respect to abortion, same-sex marriage, and his compromise with Islam. We hate the sin, yet uphold in prayer the office of the President of the United States. I actually love President Barack Obama, but I must admit, it has taken me many years of praying these verses to get there, for I hate much of what he has done, and is doing!
Yet, he has stayed married, he has empowered the black citizens of this country, and at times honored First Nations chiefs. Gotta keep my mind there as I pray for him, recognizing he is a fatherless man, desperately in need of a revelation of the love of our heavenly Father. That love, the love of God, revealed to his heart, can change anyone…it changed me!
8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]
This is the way of faith, following Jesus, our way and way maker! He never fails, so we never fail either, now, or in eternity!
As I stand in this, my particular stand of faith, I WILL LOVE!
1Co 15:57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Let’s pray:
‘Father, your love is shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit. I have decided to love my enemies, and to overcome evil with good in this world, by deliberately believing and receiving your grace to love, through Your Word. I know You are making me more like Jesus today, and that even the brutality of the daily circumstances, can bring me to You, if I will simply come, and break before Your throne. You see what I face today, now I am trusting you to work in me to will and to do, of your good pleasure today, help me to walk in love, in your name I pray Lord Jesus, Amen’
